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RECOGNIZING AND MANAGING HOLIDAY STRESS
By: Diana Mariani, LCSW, Phillip A. Foster, PhD

Like eggs and eggnog, stress and the human creature simply go together. The pressures (stress) of our daily lives are natural, factual, and unavoidable conditions of being human. However, being “stressed out,” particularly during the busy holiday season, is avoidable by following three simple steps:

1. Identify

2. Plan

3. Relax

IDENTIFY
Change and its “adjustive demand” are what create stress. The holidays are times of change from our usual routines. The subsequent stress placed upon our bodies varies based upon the duration, frequency, intensity, or significance of the adjustment we make in our lives. It also has a greater effect on us if we have experienced numerous other changes in a short period of time. Consequently, being able to identify pre-holiday stressors is important in the management of emotions so that people know how to make realistic plans for successfully getting “through it all” going into the holiday season. A quick and easy way to assess one’s current stress level is to take a stress test. These are available online by looking up “stress tests.” There are many to choose from, and they all have some utility for identifying what is causing stress.

The list below can help you see if your stress load is already too high. The important thing is to do an assessment before moving on to the “Plan” stage.

The following are some common symptoms of stress overload:

Identifying your strengths and supports is crucial in completing the “Identify” stage. It allows you to better handle the adjustments you have to make during the holiday season. You should take a few minutes to list your personal strengths. Also, list the people in your life who are sources of strength for you. There might be a time when you need reassurance, and if you have already identified people who are there for you, then you will have stress support when you need it.

PLAN
After determining how stressed out you are, a good plan will keep your stress level at a minimum. Plan development can be accomplished with relative ease once you have identified your stressors and made a list of your holiday expectations. If you are making a holiday plan for the whole family, you might need input from your family members. For example, Little Jimmy might be expecting to have his three cousins spend the night on New Year’s Eve. If you know about this expectation ahead of time and plan accordingly, you could significantly reduce the potential for stress. Once all expectations are gathered, it will be necessary to weed out the unrealistic expectations (e.g., little Jimmy’s expecting to take the whole neighborhood on a Caribbean cruise over the school break, or getting in a two hour nap twice a day on the weekends). Once the list is realistic, you can sit down with your family members, share the list and answer any questions they may have. It is important to develop a plan that also considers the unavoidable stresses of the holiday season. For example, if you fear traffic congestion might create road rage within you, then your holiday shopping might best be scheduled for a time of day when traffic is at a minimum.

For those who anticipate that the season will bring additional stress related to times of grieving or seasonal depression, planning to see your doctor or a therapist prior to the season being in full tilt is highly recommended.

The planning is almost done. Now, all that is left is to get your calendar and begin to schedule the who, what, when, where and how of your holiday plans. The final task is scheduling times to RELAX.

RELAX
Stress can create problems for people unless they learn to take care of themselves through the development and utilization of stress management skills. Stress can wear people down if they are unable to reserve and replenish their energy. The impact can be more severe if they respond inappropriately to stress. The effect of stress on the human body can become prolonged or delayed which might result in more wear and tear on them. Therefore, people cannot neglect to plan for self-care time.

Planning a 10-minute period of meditation, prayer, or some other spiritual discipline is a reliable method of stress management that most people could fit into their schedules. If meditation is not the thing for you, try taking a walk or finding a 10-minute daily quiet time to soak in a hot bath while perhaps listening to soothing music or memorizing a favorite piece of poetry. The purpose of this is to release from your mind all the responsibilities and obligations looming ahead and give the mind and body a chance to experience positive feelings of thanksgiving, joy, and peace. After all, isn’t that what the holidays are about?

Identify—Plan—Relax. Enjoy the holidays! PEACE!